I am more or less freaking out right now.
With the exception of a few string parts left, the tracking for this album is completely finished. Tomorrow I launch the Kickstarter, I've already had a mix session with the mix engineer, and yesterday I got the rest of the album artwork. I added a song last week and had to cut one, I'm almost done with all the editing, and more than anything I am running out of problems to fix.
Ah.
I am getting closer and closer to the moment of saying goodbye to this album which terrifies me. I love fixing things, I love imagining new parts I can add, new melodies to write, new nuances that will make this album even better. The more I think about it though, the more I am realizing that I love pushing reality away; I love thinking that where I really am as a creator is far above where I actually am, so releasing my work into the world is the process of coming to terms with who I really am. I believe all creators go from being completely obsessed with themselves to self-deprecating and scared hundreds of times per day.
Releasing this album is saying goodbye to a season of my life. It is saying goodbye to the familiar and letting someone else into your brain-world. It is sending your kid off to college and hoping people treat them right.
But saying goodbye to this album is the only way that others can say hello to it. All artists hate having people hear rough drafts but at the same time, I think they love it and are dying to spill what they've been working on. I realized the other day that anyone who listens to this album will hear only the finished product, the best possible version of all these songs, and I think that rocks.
Almost there. Not sure where my mind will be at in the next few months but let's do this. Look for the Kickstarter launch tomorrow. The album will be out of my hands in a couple weeks and the release should happen in January.
Thanks for reading - I can't wait to see what happens!
Ben